‘Friending’ Your Ex on Social Media Could Doom Your Current Relationship

This Valentine’s Day, you’re likely doing one of two things: Celebrating the success of your present relationship, or ignoring the fact that you aren’t in one. (Both of these are fine positions to be in on a consumer holiday such as this one!) Regardless of where you’re at on the commitment spectrum, a new study has some solid advice for anyone using social media: Don’t “friend” your ex.

Joyce Baptist, a Kansas State University marriage and family therapy associate professor, found that crossing relationship boundaries online can cause serious damage. In a study of nearly 7,000 couples who use social media, Baptist found that for couples in which one or both partners communicated with someone they find physically attractive online, which she labeled “boundary crossing,” the more damage can be done to the relationship.

But before you go trolling your SO’s Facebook account for evidence of shady behavior, the study says there’s a difference between “boundary crossing” and what Baptist calls “boundary violation.”

A crossing is when a partner brushes a proverbial guard rail, possibly by having platonic but frequent contact with another individual he or she finds attractive. Boundary violation, on the other hand, may be emotional or physical infidelity, Baptist says.

Without an honest conversation outlining these “guard rails,” or what both partners feel is or isn’t appropriate behavior online, then someone can easily have their feelings hurt by what their partner does on social media. Furthermore, the study found that while some people accepted that their partner interacted or flirted with an ex online, it didn’t necessarily mean they were cool with it.

“Although they may say, ‘I trust you and it’s OK,’ they are not happy about it,” Baptist said. “They eventually perceive that their significant other is spending too much time connecting with others on social media rather than paying attention to their own partner.”

And that perceived threat may not be so innocent after all. “Keeping lines of communication open with former significant others can become a slippery slope,” the study found, “because relationships naturally have peaks and valleys. During a relationship’s lower points, a person may be tempted to confide in a previous partner.”

So what’s the best way to ensure your partner isn’t harboring some kind of grudge about you liking your ex’s Facebook status? Use your words. Describe what you’re comfortable with rather than what you’ll merely put up with. According to the study, Baptist says “couples ought to share not only what they are willing to tolerate but also what they would prefer so the couple can create a secure and satisfying relationship.”

Who You Should Actually Spend Valentine’s Day With According To Your Zodiac Sign

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and if you want love to be in the air, you have to find the right match. We’ve partnered with Psychic Source to bring you this forecast of your best Valentine’s date options based on your astrological sign. Knowledge is power, and the first step to having a perfect V-day is to know exactly what you’re looking for.

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

Aries people love the exciting situations a lot of the other signs would be intimidated by — rooms full of people they don’t know (yet), new cities, the lure of something they haven’t experienced before. They could spend Valentine’s Day with a room full of strangers and leave with a few new best friends and love interests. Your perfect match is someone you can introduce to new things (and who will be down to try it): a Gemini or Aquarius would be ideal.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

No one can get in (and stay in) a rut like a Taurus. But they like it that way! For their special love holiday they should do exactly what they want to and spend it with people who can appreciate the beauty of stability. A Netflix date with a fellow homebody like Cancer or Pisces will be the best use of V-day.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

It doesn’t really matter who I say a Gemini should spend the day with because they will keep second guessing until the very last minute until they suddenly make a decision. They should partner up with someone who won’t mind taking the lead — and is confident enough that a Gemini won’t second guess them. They’ll also need to walk the impossible line of being both exciting and laid back. Try an Aries, Aquarius, or Libra.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

Cancers LOVE love. They love the act of loving, and they love being loved. They need to spend Valentine’s with someone who can freely express their emotions and hang with the most sensitive sign. They should do a nurturing activity (like cooking a meal) with a Pisces or Virgo. If they want to live on the edge they can choose a Scorpio — just be aware that the only emotion they’ll be expressing is sexual in nature.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Like Cancers, Leos LOVE love — they just happen to like the receiving part a lot more than the giving part. They need to feel like the star in their relationship, which means they should be with someone who won’t feel like they’re playing second fiddle. A perfect Valentine’s date would be an activity that the Leo shines at but will be fun for everyone involved (like karaoke if they’re a singer, or a cooking or painting class). They should bring along a Sagittarius or a Capricorn.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

Virgos can be really particular about the things that are important to them. They won’t just want Valentine’s to be another day; they’ll want it to be the best day it could be. They should be with someone who will appreciate their planning and work — but will also help them chill out a bit. Dinner at a well-researched restaurant with a Taurus or a Capricorn would be ideal.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

One of the best qualities of Libras is that they can get along with just about anyone. Their natural calmness is magnetic and they can bring out the best in their partner, no matter who they are. For Valentine’s Day, they should hang with a Gemini or a Sagittarius and let their date suggest an activity. No matter what it is, a Libra will make it better.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Scorpios can get a lot of grief for their feisty temperament, but they more than make up for it when they channel that passion and emotion into love. Their best partnership comes with someone who can balance them out — someone more stable than volatile, quick to love and slow to anger. Cancer or Pisces are the best bet.

Sagittarius

 (November 23rd to December 21st)

Sagittarius people love Valentine’s Day — but only in secret. They come across so confident and tough, it’s hard to imagine they appreciate a little love fest like the rest of us. For a wild time they should hook up with a Scorpio, for a more meaningful night they should find someone who will let them be vulnerable in their need for love, like a Gemini or an Aquarius.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

A Capricorn not only wants to celebrate Valentine’s Day, they want to celebrate the *perfect* Valentine’s Day. They should receive flowers at the office in front of all their friends and have reservations at a nice restaurant to look forward to that night. They should plan to spend their day with someone who will put the work into making the day the best it could be (up to those lofty Capricorn standards): another Capricorn or a Virgo.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

Aquarians are often the funniest sign. They have no problem getting dates because of their magnetic personalities and easy charm. They could win over whatever sign they wanted, if they tried hard enough but it’s good to remember that just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Stick to a sign you’ll truly enjoy hanging around with past the thrill of the chase: a Sagittarius, Libra, or Aries.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

A Pisces is the perfect sidekick for Valentine’s Day. They are laid back enough to enjoy just about any activity — but they’re much more selective when it comes to their partner. A good match for a Pisces needs to be intelligent, kind, and emotionally stable. They should look for a Cancer, Virgo or Scorpio and plan a casual date like making pizza from scratch while watching both of their favorite movies.

Man Takes Dying Dog on Cross-Country Adventure

When DJ Thomas Neil Rodriguez learned earlier this year that his 16-year-old dog had only weeks to live, he was devastated.

He’d adopted Poh as a puppy from a New York shelter in 1999, but the once-healthy pit bull-lab mix now had numerous tumors as well as kidney failure.

“They were like, we can’t tell you [how much time he has left] but you could have days. He could be gone any day,” he told New York Daily News.

Rodriguez had a gig scheduled in Arizona in March, but he wasn’t about to leave Poh alone for what could be his final days. So he and his fiancée decided to embark on a road trip and cross items of Poh’s bucket list.

The trio left New York on March 6, and Rodriguez started an Instagram account to share Poh’s cross-country journey.

Poh, who requires a daily IV drip, was photographed in front of numerous U.S. landmarks along the way, and when the family arrived in Arizona, Rodriguez decided to continue their road trip.

Since then, Poh has traveled thousands of miles and been photographed in more than 35 U.S. cities. He has dipped his paws in the Pacific Ocean, posed in front of the Alamo and had his belly rubbed on the National Mall.

Now, Poh is back home in the Big Apple, but his urban explorations continue. Take a look at his Instagram page, and you’ll see Poh visiting Coney Island, the Brooklyn Bridge and One World Trade Center.

Rodriguez says he’s blessed to have spent months with Poh instead of the few days he thought he’d get when his pet received a terminal diagnosis.

“I am super blessed that I have actually gotten to do this,” he said. “People think I take care of Poh, but Poh takes care of me.”

Take a look at some of Poh’s adventures in the photos below.

dog-usa-1dog-usa-2dog-usa-3